Saturday, February 20, 2010

The Girl who was Kind

Once upon a time, there was a Kind Girl.  She was lovely and popular in her school and at one time, back when “going out” meant casually dating instead of going steady, she went out with a Troubled Boy from another school.  This Troubled Boy had a rough childhood but had good friends and that is how he met the Kind Girl.

As most high school things do, Kind Girl moved on to someone else.  Troubled Boy joined the Army.  But he never forgot that Kind Girl was, well, … kind to him.

Fast forward a few years and Troubled Boy meets me.  He’s not really troubled as much as a grown-up but he still carries some of the baggage.  However, he works hard.  We start a life together. We have a Babygirl.  He remembers how Kind Girl was always Kind to him and since he liked her name, used a variation of it to name the Babygirl.  This is where the spelling comes from – with the “y”.  Not really named “for” the Kind Girl, but maybe a  in honor of.  Me?  I didn’t mind because I knew of the troubles and kind is kind.

Now we fast forward to a couple more years and many more arguments.  To the point where there is no more marriage.  Some things are destined to end so good things can happen to everyone involved.  This was one of those things.  Drama?  Of course, but for the best.

Now, it turns out that the Kind Girl was a good friend, since childhood, of my Best Good Friend KJ.  They were tight.  Still are.  Have been since 3rd grade.  The Kind Girl was now married to a man a few years older than her; she had three kids; and a glamorous (to me) life.  I’m sure it was really a normal life.  But she had a good life while me and KJ were struggling as single moms.  Her kids grew up and went to school.  And once they were in school …

The Kind Girl, who was not only beautiful and skinny and blonde, was also brilliant.  She went to law school and became employed by one of this city’s best law firms. 

Somewhere along the way, and I will never forget this day, the Kind Girl came to dance aerobics class with me and KJ.  The kids played in the foyer of the community center while we were working out.  My Babygirl comes running in.  She’s about what … 5 or 6 years old?  Anyway, we introduce her to the Kind Girl.  Babygirl says, “I bet you don’t spell your name like me!”   The Kind Girl only then realizes who we are and the significance of the name.  She’s a little freaked but not overly so.  I think she totally understood.  She had been kind.

Years go by.  Kids grow up.  Her oldest son attends the same school as Babygirl, but is in a different grade.  More years go by.  I’m not around the Kind Girl much but once in a great while meet up with her and KJ for a drink or two. 

KJ has the remarkable ability to be friends with many different groups of people, and those groups rarely mix, but somehow we all know each other.  Anyway, have always kept up with the Kind Girl and a few others via the friendship we all have with KJ.

Years go by.  Life goes on.  Kids grow up.  Various of the kids get married.  The Kind Girl’s oldest son gets married. Last year, his wife becomes pregnant.  She’s due to deliver right before Kind Girl’s second son gets married.  But something goes terribly, terribly wrong.  At the end of the pregnancy, she has a stroke.  A bad one.  They take the baby but the mom doesn’t make it.  A beautiful newborn girl baby now only has her dad.

Reports throughout the year are that the dad, Kind Girl’s son, is doing well.  Coping as best he can. Loves the baby.  Is a good daddy.  Everyone worries for him but is proud; knows he struggles but prays for the best.

Until a couple of nights ago.  I guess the pressure was too much?  The sadness too great?  This young man, the son of the girl who was kind to my girl’s dad once upon a time, did the unthinkable.  He committed suicide.

We heard about it yesterday and I can’t get it out of my head.

I have heard how he did it but won’t get into details here.  I have talked to KJ and she was trying to find her friend and get to the family.  Babygirl has friends in common so was able to confirm it all.

So.  Today my heart breaks for a girl who was kind.  To everyone.  She’s a strong lady, but how can anyone be strong enough to get through something like this?

I’m sure Sister Carole will identify.  Losing a child is the most horrible thing there could ever be.

Peace be with Kym C. and family.  I pray for peace and healing and strength of spirit.  I pray for another babygirl who is now an orphan.  I pray for a family, a good family, that is facing tragedy.   I pray for all parnets who have lost a child.  Dear Lord, be with them and keep them.  Amen.



Brit Gal Sarah said...

How tragic and terribly sad, my condolences go to all family and friends.

Kymical Reactions said...

I'm so terribly sad. I can't stop thinking about it either, and what must have been going on in his mind. My thoughts and prayers are with the C family.

I love you.

carmar76 said...

Suicide has touched my family, too. *HUGS* and prayers go to this family that I don't know, but ache for.

Boxer said...


Karl said...

Morning Pam,

Such a waste, the family has by condolences.