Thursday, January 12, 2012

SNARK STATION ALLSTARS! OPERA DRESS CHALLENGE!

SNARKERS!  So glad to be back with a real reason to blog.  Loving me some Allstars.  I was concerned about the change in judges and hostess, but these don’t bother me at all.  And who doesn’t love them some Isaac M?   Oh, and I’m taping that 24 hour runway show that came on afterwards, well, just because.

First up – a few observations:

1.  How are these young girls getting their hair to be a perfect color of gray?   April’s was fab.  Kelly Osborne has been wearing it also.  If I could get that color of gray, I might be persuaded to head down that no-hair-color-at-all path.  Hmmmm.

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2.  Yes, Moi, I do believe Sweet Pea has had some work done.  She looked very fresh and I think she had lost some weight also.  I love her daisy chain tattoo.  Not that I would do it, but it reminds me of my little doodles I have done all my life.

3.  Austin Scarlett is looking a little …. Robin Hood/Errol Flynn?   I miss his big bold yellow hair.

4.  Michael C. is still a fave of mine.  Such a nice guy.

5.  I totally forgot who Kara Janx was and had her confused with Kara Saun prior to watching the show tonight.  Oops.

Let’s start snarking.

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Loved Kenley’s look – while not very “opera” it was very Kenley and such a beautiful pink.  Not Pepto and not Barbie.  Well done Kenley.  Not a top 3 but good enough.

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Gordana.  I had totally forgotten about her also.  The bodice on this was beautiful.  I did NOT like the insets in the skirt that made the legs look bare as she walked.  It was a little (as Michael Kors would say) vulgar.  But the top was DIVINE.

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Rami’s dress was fairly boring, I thought.  Maybe a lot of construction to it but, for me, it was meh.

 

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Mila, who is rocking some reddish hair in her Betty Page style, did a very good looking black dress.  Not  show-stopper but any woman would want this dress.  Gorge.Ous.

 

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Sweet Pea.  Sigh.  Didn’t you  know right away that she was going home with this?  So many things that are not part of a night-at-the-opera dress.  1.  No glamour.   2.  Color all wrong.  3.  Print all wrong.  4.  Silhouette all wrong.  Okay, maybe if it was a pregnant woman at the opera, maybe.    See ya, Sweet Pea.  I wanted to root for you but couldn’t do it.

 

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Mondo’s dress was Fab.U.Lous.  Remember that Jackie O challenge a few seasons ago?  This would have knocked it out of the park on that challenge.  Loved the white on white pattern also.  Very classy, elegant, wearable, photographable.  Where do I buy one?  Not top three, but I will discuss that below.  This would have been my white dress choice.

 

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Jerell.  Oh yes, I had forgotten about him too.  I did like this dress.  He was middle of the pack with it.  While pretty, it has no real shape.  I did like the color combination.  Brown?  Unusual but in a good way.

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Kara borrowed my granny’s drapes from 1984 and made a dress.  Or, in the words of my hubby, she needs to “pull herself together.”  (Drapery joke.)   I hated every single thing about it.  What the what that some of the judges liked it?  Badgley or Mishka or who?  What are they thinking?  For the Opera?  NO NO NO NO NO.  For a picnic in the park in 1985 maybe.  Look at those colors?  NO NO NO NO NO.  What is wrong with this?  1.  Boring.  2.  Colors wrong for the occasion.  3.  I think my mom sewed this same pattern from McCalls for my Pep Club Banquet dress.

 

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Anthony got rave reviews for his white grecian gown.  Who else among us could only think of the Columbia Pictures logo?

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I rest my case.  Nothing new with this.  It was cut way too low and wide.  Good thing the model had great fake boobs because a normal woman would not be able to wear it.  Hated it.  Not a top 3 in my humble opinion.

 

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Austin Scarlett was the winner tonight with this beautimous golden creation.  The fit on this was impeccable.  It glided over her perfectly.  The neckline was unusual and stunning.  The black tulle overlay was inspired and just the right amount.  Total glamour girl.  Sophisticated and “TASTEFUL”.   Good going, Austin, I agree with the judges that you deserved the win tonight.

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April went with red but in a gothic way.  Her attempt at the hombre was appreciated by the judges but not executed well enough.  She was bottom three and deservedly so.

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Michael C sent down a stunning black dress that had a beautiful feathery and sparkly neckline.  The back on this was cut down to there and was really breath-taking.  It was just ever-so-slightly over-the-top, so I’m thinking the judges were right to vote him #2 for the challenge. 

Snark away, snarkers!  Can’t wait to hear what everyone has to say.  Now I know what has been missing from my life for a while! 

9 comments:

moi said...

Thank you, Pam, for once again taking up the mantle as PR Snarkstress Extraordinaire, and giving us something to look forward to at the end of the week!

I think the talent quotient with this show is obviously in full force and so this should be a lot of fun to watch.

Evening gowns, meh, not my thing, but there were a few standouts, both in terms of what I'd wear if I were going out (Gordana's, Mila's, and Mondo's—in fact, I want Mondo's dress just to have because it is so stunning, but also not without quirk) and what I think make for beautiful evening gowns in the abstract, which were hands down Austin's and Michael's.

And you know what? I have to defend Sweet Pea's dress, at least the skirt part. There was something kind of 1965 Oscar de la Renta about it that COULD have been a very interesting, retro-fabulous dress, much in the same way that Kara's almost was (hated, hated, hated the print, though). But April's dress was just a mess. No workable or redeeming idea in that thing at all. So I think the wrong gal went home.

Boxer said...

I fell asleep. Long week, but I'm catching up this weekend on all the TV I've missed. Austin Scarlet's name sounds like a 30's movie star and I totally agree about the Errol Flynn vibe. Also fascinated by grey hair because I've been told it's not a color that can be done. Or maybe it can?

Mostly, I'm just happy you're willing and able to host this season and I have to agree with Moi.... the talent pool is HUGE. No misses. How to judge that?

and I spit my coffee out with your Columbia picture woman.

Ha!! Happy Friday. Have a great weekend.

chickory said...

i freaking LOVED mondos dress. it was super uber modern hip. hes my favorite -after that - if i was a goddess i would die to wear Michael C's dress. wow. it was hot. I like austins..it was beautiful but not my style. he looks better as does sweet pea---i thought it was just her hair style and weight loss that had majorly improved her look. I kind of liked gordanas dress -not my color though. I hated Karas dress and sweet peas. i would have sent sweet pea home last week and kept art chick.

the judges? i like them a lot. Im tired of Ninas reign of terror and her domination over heidi. and kors is such a prissy queen i can hardly take him. what a pleasure it is to watch a show with real talent. that thing they rolled out last season and slapped the title "project runway" on was horrible. If i never see those judges again it wouldn hurt my feelings. i like jhoanna cole too. all around i give the show an A and i look forward to the season.

thanks for hosting the snark and YES -the columbia logo. I didnt notice but you are 100% right on the money.

chickory said...

those arent gray hair. looks like white with a healthy dose of that purple shampoo.

moi said...

Actually, I'd probably trade Sweet Pea for Art Chick girl, now that I think about it (although THIS show, April should have gone home). Just to see just how far she can push bat shit crazy. Her first dress, first show wasn't bad. I liked those flowey sleeves and even the handwriting had a nice graphic-but-not-dumb element to it.

Also, re the Columbia Logo dress. What killed it for me was not necessarily that the dress was a bit of a cliche (I loved the belt and the gloves, tho), but the model's Bolt-on Boobies. A horrible, horrible look!

Joanna Cole is my new sartorial crush. Sort of like Kate Lanphear only with less leather and studs.

Aunty Belle said...

Well I totally missed the show (UNCLE--still) so I'se luvin' this snark-report!! Fantastic recap PamOKC.

But the gold dress? well...WHO can wear it? that thang is so clingy that an English pea in the tummy would make a bump.

The season begins!!

Aunty Belle said...

oh? new judges? hallelujah!

Intuitive Eggplant said...

PamOKC, great recap! I'm afraid I'm not really diggin' the new host and regular judges - guess I'm too attached to the good old PR days. Yes, the talent pool is impressive, although the fact that I barely remember most of the contestants from the Lifetime seasons makes me realize just how much my interest in the show has waned since it made the jump and was taken over by non-Elves. I think they needed an all-star season to perk things up. My one regret is that they are all so focused on their work that the workroom scenes aren't as entertaining as in some past seasons (at least yet).

I agree with moi that I would have sent April home. And I found some charm in Kara Janx's dress, even if it came out of left field for the opera challenge. As to the winners, I thought it could have gone either way between Austin and Michael C's offerings.

Pam said...

Hi all... Blogger not letting me post.. Hope to try again